1
00:00:02,437 --> 00:00:03,607
[Knock on the door]

2
00:00:03,699 --> 00:00:04,939
Dee Dee, could I borrow your...

3
00:00:04,961 --> 00:00:06,481
What are you doing?

4
00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:08,751
I'm spending time
with my old boyfriends.

5
00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:13,055
Well, is there a crowd in the
bedroom I'm not aware of?

6
00:00:13,143 --> 00:00:14,623
'Cause I could always
come back later.

7
00:00:15,711 --> 00:00:18,541
No. I haven't had any
male attention in weeks,

8
00:00:18,627 --> 00:00:20,587
and this is old
boyfriend jewelry.

9
00:00:20,672 --> 00:00:22,152
This bracelet was Jason.

10
00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:24,939
Meteorologist, big hands.

11
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,415
The earrings, ramone.

12
00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:29,554
Chiropractor, all hands.

13
00:00:29,638 --> 00:00:31,118
This necklace, Todd.

14
00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:33,855
Small hands. He
didn't last long.

15
00:00:33,946 --> 00:00:35,336
[Laughs]

16
00:00:35,426 --> 00:00:37,206
Wait. You've got
the girls on high alert.

17
00:00:37,298 --> 00:00:38,778
You're going on
a date, aren't you?

18
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,650
Yep. I'm starting a jewelry
collection of my own.

19
00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:44,498
I just need to borrow your
Dolce and Gabbana scarf.

20
00:00:44,522 --> 00:00:45,782
Yeah.

21
00:00:45,871 --> 00:00:48,611
Oh, there's a guy
across the way,

22
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:50,400
and he's staring
right into your window.

23
00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:53,225
You mean like a peeping Tom?

24
00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:55,144
Oh, my god, you're right.

25
00:00:55,229 --> 00:00:57,099
I would keep those
drapes shut if I were you.

26
00:00:57,187 --> 00:00:59,057
You don't have to tell me twice.

27
00:01:08,242 --> 00:01:12,992
♪ Through this
journey of discovery ♪

28
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:17,773
♪ you're finding
you, I'm finding me ♪

29
00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:20,990
♪ now that I have
someone special ♪

30
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,781
♪ who brings out the joy ♪

31
00:01:22,865 --> 00:01:23,945
♪ brings out the joy ♪

32
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:27,390
♪ inside of me ♪

33
00:01:27,478 --> 00:01:29,698
♪ we can become
whatever we want ♪

34
00:01:29,785 --> 00:01:32,345
♪ all we need is lovin', yeah ♪

35
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:35,310
♪ that's the way I
feel it should be ♪

36
00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:37,789
♪ you and me ♪

37
00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,710
[Off-key] ♪ me ♪

38
00:01:45,627 --> 00:01:48,277
First, gently swirl it around
to release the aromas.

39
00:01:48,369 --> 00:01:50,759
Now take a sip and let
it dance on your tongue.

40
00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:52,849
And I was just gonna throw
my head back and guzzle.

41
00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:53,938
[Laughs]

42
00:01:55,071 --> 00:01:56,991
- 40 years in the making.
- Mona: Mmm.

43
00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:59,903
Now, would you care to sample
something a little younger?

44
00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:05,731
Hey, Mona, i... ooh! I'm sorry.

45
00:02:05,821 --> 00:02:07,081
I didn't know you had company.

46
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:08,740
Opposite sex company.

47
00:02:10,391 --> 00:02:12,041
Roland, meet my sister Dee Dee,

48
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:15,182
law student-slash-professional
date crasher.

49
00:02:15,265 --> 00:02:16,565
Pleasure to meet you, Dee Dee.

50
00:02:16,658 --> 00:02:18,488
Oh, the pleasure's
all mine. And nice suit.

51
00:02:18,573 --> 00:02:21,363
I didn't realize versace's new
line was even available yet.

52
00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:24,025
Well, my advertising firm handles
some of their west coast business,

53
00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:26,426
and every now and then I let
donatella kick my butt in racquetball.

54
00:02:26,450 --> 00:02:28,540
[Both laugh]

55
00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:30,886
Well, I have some
studying to do.

56
00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:32,886
It was nice to meet you, Roland.

57
00:02:32,978 --> 00:02:34,648
This way when Mona
and I talk about you later,

58
00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:35,916
I can put a face with the name.

59
00:02:35,981 --> 00:02:38,201
[Chuckles] Well,
talk about me now.

60
00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:39,328
I'm going to the bathroom.

61
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:45,030
Don't let this one get away.
Drug him if you have to.

62
00:02:45,121 --> 00:02:46,821
[Laughs]

63
00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:48,425
I know. He's amazing.

64
00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:50,206
And he loves
sleeping at my place.

65
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:51,610
He's got clothes in the closet,

66
00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:53,173
a toothbrush in the bathroom.

67
00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:55,570
There's evidence of a man here.

68
00:02:55,653 --> 00:02:58,353
Ooh! It sounds like
this could be long-term.

69
00:02:58,439 --> 00:03:00,219
I know, which is why
I can't help thinking

70
00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:02,570
there's a big old flaw poking
around in there somewhere.

71
00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:05,400
Mona, you've gotta
stop being so defeatist.

72
00:03:05,489 --> 00:03:07,059
Whenever joy skips
around the corner,

73
00:03:07,143 --> 00:03:08,423
you're right there with a brick.

74
00:03:11,539 --> 00:03:13,279
[Knock on the door]

75
00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:15,367
Dear, I need your
opinion on something.

76
00:03:15,456 --> 00:03:17,016
Well, actually, two things.

77
00:03:23,594 --> 00:03:25,944
Oh, my god!

78
00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:28,121
They do take you to a
spiritual place, don't they?

79
00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:31,817
Relax. They're just trainers.

80
00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:33,907
I'm considering a little lift,

81
00:03:33,996 --> 00:03:36,516
so Dr. Gupta let me
take 'em out for a spin.

82
00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:39,962
Go ahead. Feel 'em.

83
00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:42,395
Not in this lifetime!

84
00:03:42,483 --> 00:03:43,963
Oh, please. When
you were a baby,

85
00:03:44,049 --> 00:03:45,409
I couldn't tear you
away from them.

86
00:03:45,442 --> 00:03:46,442
Come on.

87
00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:49,615
I can't!

88
00:03:50,839 --> 00:03:52,669
This is a one-way
ticket to therapy.

89
00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:56,187
And why do you
need to get those?

90
00:03:56,279 --> 00:03:58,329
Well, truth be told,
since drew was born,

91
00:03:58,412 --> 00:04:00,242
my girls just haven't
been feeling as perky.

92
00:04:01,719 --> 00:04:04,109
And god knows it'll put a
skip in your father's step.

93
00:04:05,636 --> 00:04:07,726
Well, I'd consider downsizing,

94
00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:10,642
unless you wanna
smother him in his sleep.

95
00:04:10,728 --> 00:04:12,898
Good point. He likes to nestle.

96
00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:15,776
I'll just swap 'em
out for c-cups...

97
00:04:15,864 --> 00:04:18,394
After I take one more loop
around that construction site.

98
00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:23,385
Phyllis...

99
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,310
Notice anything different?

100
00:04:25,395 --> 00:04:27,915
Hmm... charles isn't with you.

101
00:04:28,006 --> 00:04:30,436
I guess you finally traded in
the little boob for 2 big 'uns.

102
00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:33,966
I'd say you're green with envy,

103
00:04:34,056 --> 00:04:36,096
but it's hard to tell through
that thick foundation.

104
00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:39,553
You know. All of the things
you need to fix about yourself,

105
00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:41,373
these two are way
down on the list.

106
00:04:42,847 --> 00:04:44,887
I'd start by filing
down your horse teeth.

107
00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:48,183
At least I don't have
to take mine out at night

108
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,160
to clean off the
lonely cheeto stains.

109
00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:53,338
Hey, these babies are real.

110
00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:55,743
And that's more than I can say
for anything above your neck.

111
00:04:59,908 --> 00:05:03,428
You are a persistent
little peeper, aren't you?

112
00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:10,005
[Making stripping rhythm]

113
00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:20,971
So...

114
00:05:21,059 --> 00:05:23,139
Is there an evening show
on sundays or just a matinee?

115
00:05:25,499 --> 00:05:28,499
There's nothing wrong with
a little healthy exhibitionism.

116
00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:30,459
Did you barge in for a reason?

117
00:05:30,547 --> 00:05:32,197
Yes. The search is over.

118
00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:34,598
I told you Roland had a
flaw, and I finally found it.

119
00:05:34,682 --> 00:05:36,382
Look.

120
00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:38,726
He makes you wash your hands.

121
00:05:38,816 --> 00:05:40,376
No. Look closer.

122
00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:43,562
They look amazing.
Your nail beds are glowing.

123
00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:47,697
Because Roland hooked me up
with his manicurist and his waxer.

124
00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:52,662
Wow! They did a great job. They
even got that long one off your chin.

125
00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:55,053
And tomorrow Roland
is stopping by work

126
00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:57,707
to whisk me off to
his personal stylist.

127
00:05:57,792 --> 00:06:00,062
I've been trying to get
you to go to mine for years.

128
00:06:00,142 --> 00:06:01,402
Roland deserves a medal.

129
00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:04,229
No, you're missing the flaw.

130
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,280
Roland is gay!

131
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,496
Mona, you're doing it again.

132
00:06:08,585 --> 00:06:10,235
Every time a guy is into you,

133
00:06:10,326 --> 00:06:12,236
you start picking him apart.

134
00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:14,328
Oh, he's too old,
oh, he's too broke,

135
00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:15,937
oh, he has lady hips.

136
00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:19,378
There's nothing
wrong with Roland.

137
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:22,426
It's you. Why can't you
let yourself be happy?

138
00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:26,082
Ok. Roland said highlights
would give my tresses

139
00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:28,258
more confidence and sass.

140
00:06:29,998 --> 00:06:31,258
Sass?

141
00:06:31,347 --> 00:06:33,307
Did he actually
use the word sass?

142
00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:35,698
Yes!

143
00:06:35,786 --> 00:06:37,826
So, what do I do?

144
00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:40,569
Well, if it makes you feel better,
you should consult an expert.

145
00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:42,661
Adam, Roland, Roland, Adam.

146
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:45,230
Spencer, you've met. Let's go.

147
00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:47,967
So... rrroland.

148
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,189
Mind if I call you rrroland?

149
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,850
Yeah. When you say it like that.

150
00:06:53,935 --> 00:06:55,275
So, rrroland...

151
00:06:56,807 --> 00:06:58,637
I'm doing a crossword
puzzle. Little help?

152
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:01,382
12 down... "a character
in the musical cats."

153
00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:02,604
Never saw it. Never will.

154
00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:05,383
Oh? Then how about 26 across...

155
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:07,508
"what does Cher wish
she could turn back?"

156
00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:08,861
Is she still alive?

157
00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:12,211
I see. Five down.

158
00:07:12,301 --> 00:07:14,421
"When is the last time you
showered with another man?"

159
00:07:15,826 --> 00:07:16,956
Get away from me, man.

160
00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:19,787
I'm gonna get some coffee.

161
00:07:19,874 --> 00:07:23,054
Sure. Help yourself, rrroland!

162
00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:24,788
I've completed my puzzle.

163
00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:29,193
And the verdict?

164
00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:32,064
Not guilty. They're just trying
to keep the black man down.

165
00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:34,147
Sorry, racial reflex.
Who y'all talking about?

166
00:07:35,977 --> 00:07:37,327
Roland!

167
00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:39,113
Brother uses clear nail Polish.

168
00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:41,067
Don't like him.

169
00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:44,326
Adam. Definitely
hetero. Definitely Metro.

170
00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:46,290
Spencer: Metro?

171
00:07:46,378 --> 00:07:48,308
Metrosexual... a man whose
appearance and grooming habits

172
00:07:48,337 --> 00:07:50,817
might lead the untrained
eye to conclude he's gay.

173
00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:53,255
My people call them wasted
attempts in the steam room.

174
00:07:54,952 --> 00:07:56,562
.So he's safe to date!

175
00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:57,760
If you don't have a
problem dating a guy

176
00:07:57,781 --> 00:07:59,481
who uses more hair goo than you.

177
00:08:00,741 --> 00:08:02,831
He shares, so
I'm cool with that.

178
00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:05,827
And he's straight and he's
mine, and I'm real cool with that.

179
00:08:10,185 --> 00:08:11,575
Well!

180
00:08:11,665 --> 00:08:13,965
Looks like big Dee
Dee's not so big anymore!

181
00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,405
That's ok. I'll just
call you flat Dee Dee.

182
00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:20,202
Excuse me.

183
00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:23,202
Hey, you dropped
your appointment car...

184
00:08:24,416 --> 00:08:25,896
For a biopsy?

185
00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:27,903
That's not mine. It's for coco.

186
00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:31,033
Ok, it's for me.

187
00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:33,895
Phyllis, I'm scared.

188
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:43,873
Slippers? What the...

189
00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:02,543
Yeah?

190
00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:03,999
You know, you've been camped
out here for a couple of weeks now.

191
00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:05,851
I could arrange to
put you on my route

192
00:09:05,936 --> 00:09:07,436
so you don't mess up
those leather slippers.

193
00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:09,719
Thanks. But I was hoping
not to be here that long.

194
00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:10,810
Whatever, dude.

195
00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:17,601
I do believe we've
found the flaw.

196
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:26,480
[Singer raps]

197
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,736
♪ Forget your boyfriend,
he the one macking for me ♪

198
00:09:28,829 --> 00:09:30,049
♪ got you going... ♪

199
00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:35,305
♪ Boy, I know
that if I like you ♪

200
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,880
♪ the way you dress,
the way you talk ♪

201
00:09:37,968 --> 00:09:40,278
♪ the way you move, boy ♪

202
00:09:40,362 --> 00:09:45,022
♪ come here, boy, I
know that if I like you ♪

203
00:09:45,106 --> 00:09:47,586
♪ the way you dress,
the way you talk... ♪

204
00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:48,674
[Knock on the door]

205
00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:50,632
Dee Dee: Hey, Mona.

206
00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:53,108
I have something to tell you.

207
00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:55,991
Me first. Roland
aced the Adam test!

208
00:09:56,073 --> 00:09:57,863
And just to be sure,
when I asked him,

209
00:09:57,945 --> 00:10:00,025
he couldn't name a single
character from will and grace.

210
00:10:00,643 --> 00:10:02,563
So, for once I'm happy to say

211
00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:04,815
that you were right
and I was wrong.

212
00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:10,307
And I'm ashamed to say for once
that you were right and I was wrong.

213
00:10:10,392 --> 00:10:12,132
Wow. It feels funny saying that.

214
00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:14,271
I don't like it.

215
00:10:16,311 --> 00:10:19,361
The point is, your
man does have a flaw.

216
00:10:19,444 --> 00:10:22,014
Roland's living in his car.

217
00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:23,189
What?

218
00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:25,154
While I was jogging,

219
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:27,933
I spotted him getting a paper
outside my gym in his slippers.

220
00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:29,848
Then he got back in his car,

221
00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:32,983
shaved, ate breakfast, and
ironed his shirt on the dash.

222
00:10:36,548 --> 00:10:38,508
Come to think of it,

223
00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:40,494
he did have a pile of suits in
the backseat when we went out,

224
00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:43,339
but he said he just picked
them up from his dry-cleaners.

225
00:10:43,425 --> 00:10:44,765
Oh, Mona.

226
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:51,430
You know, I never
have been to his house.

227
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:52,830
Or maybe you have.

228
00:11:10,104 --> 00:11:11,674
Ah-ahem!

229
00:11:12,889 --> 00:11:15,109
Phyllis! You didn't have
to come down here for me.

230
00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:17,846
Don't flatter yourself.
I'm here for the muzak.

231
00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:21,157
Word on the street is

232
00:11:21,245 --> 00:11:23,405
they have a steel drum
version of 'tie a yellow ribbon'.

233
00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:28,375
So... how you holding up?

234
00:11:28,470 --> 00:11:30,950
Good. Not so good.

235
00:11:31,038 --> 00:11:33,038
Changes by the second.

236
00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:34,927
I guess I should be
thankful they found the lump

237
00:11:34,955 --> 00:11:38,045
during the consultation
for my breast enlargement.

238
00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:40,962
My vanity may
have saved my life.

239
00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:43,008
And you couldn't
tell your family, huh?

240
00:11:43,093 --> 00:11:45,713
I wanted to tell Dee Dee.
Got to the door and froze up.

241
00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:48,844
And Charles?

242
00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:50,925
Oh, please. The man gets
nauseous watching me floss.

243
00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:55,719
And I didn't want to alarm him
until I knew what I was dealing with.

244
00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:57,592
I mean...

245
00:11:57,673 --> 00:11:59,943
What if they find
something awful?

246
00:12:00,023 --> 00:12:02,463
What if I lose my breast?

247
00:12:02,547 --> 00:12:04,717
What's Charles gonna do then?

248
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:06,771
Love his wife!

249
00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:08,466
Charles may be a lot of things,

250
00:12:08,553 --> 00:12:10,213
but what he isn't is shallow...

251
00:12:10,294 --> 00:12:12,084
And don't you dare
tell him I said that!

252
00:12:13,645 --> 00:12:15,595
I may be the one that's shallow.

253
00:12:15,691 --> 00:12:19,391
I mean, I can't help thinking,
"I'm not gonna be myself anymore."

254
00:12:19,477 --> 00:12:20,517
Less of a woman.

255
00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:22,699
Oh, please! Listen up.

256
00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:26,045
There's only one organ
that defines a woman.

257
00:12:26,136 --> 00:12:29,266
Her brain. Everything
else is just...

258
00:12:29,357 --> 00:12:30,967
Window dressing.

259
00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:34,624
When did you get so
philosophical about all this?

260
00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:38,800
Five years ago. The same
thing happened to me.

261
00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:40,758
It did?

262
00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:44,287
Yep. And I had to go through
the whole aspiration procedure.

263
00:12:44,372 --> 00:12:47,682
But I was too proud... or
too stupid... to tell anybody,

264
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:51,377
so... I went through it alone.

265
00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:52,676
Wasn't easy.

266
00:12:53,816 --> 00:12:55,726
Always thought one
was a little lopsided.

267
00:12:58,299 --> 00:12:59,299
The point is

268
00:12:59,343 --> 00:13:01,913
my tests came back negative.

269
00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:04,438
And I'm sure yours will, too.

270
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:08,219
Mrs. Thorne,
we're ready for you.

271
00:13:24,629 --> 00:13:26,459
Lopsided, my ass!

272
00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:32,856
Ha ha. Yeah, this can
only happen to Mona.

273
00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:34,422
I mean, our girl is
dating a homeless.

274
00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:36,029
Where'd you meet
him, soup kitchen?

275
00:13:37,555 --> 00:13:40,165
For your information, at a
mixer for young professionals,

276
00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:42,004
and Roland is not homeless.

277
00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:44,432
Maybe he's just...
Thinking outside the box.

278
00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:46,909
Hello? He's one step
away from living in one.

279
00:13:49,002 --> 00:13:50,742
Hey, if you ever have kids,

280
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,830
I hear u-haul makes
a boomin' nursery.

281
00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:56,097
You're both so small.

282
00:13:56,183 --> 00:13:58,053
Not small... subcompact!

283
00:13:59,795 --> 00:14:01,815
All right, all right! I don't
understand this madness either,

284
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,541
but somebody who drives
a broken-down Vespa

285
00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:06,405
or his grandma's cutlass
with saran wrap windows

286
00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:07,847
should not pass judgment.

287
00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:10,238
I think we can.

288
00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:11,847
Because we don't live in them!

289
00:14:14,462 --> 00:14:17,072
I hate it when
you're right. Get out!

290
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,860
Hey, let's go to the car
dealership down the street.

291
00:14:19,946 --> 00:14:22,466
I'm in the market for a
one-bedroom with a rear wiper!

292
00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:36,830
Hey!

293
00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:39,139
I'm over here!

294
00:14:39,226 --> 00:14:40,616
Mr. Peeper!

295
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,531
I won't be ignored!

296
00:14:47,321 --> 00:14:49,411
Come on! I'm
giving you gold here!

297
00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:52,110
[Telephone rings]

298
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:55,895
[Ring]

299
00:14:55,982 --> 00:14:57,072
Aren't you gonna get that?

300
00:14:57,157 --> 00:14:59,327
Oh, I know who it is.

301
00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:01,140
[Roland, on answering machine]
Hey, Mona. Just trying again.

302
00:15:01,161 --> 00:15:02,181
Haven't heard from you all day.

303
00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:03,895
Hit me on my cell.

304
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:05,300
That was a man.

305
00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:09,427
Your man. Why aren't your
picking up for your man?

306
00:15:11,301 --> 00:15:13,961
Well, he's not my man anymore.

307
00:15:14,043 --> 00:15:16,613
Why not? It sounds like he
forgave you for whatever you did.

308
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:19,444
I didn't do anything.

309
00:15:19,527 --> 00:15:20,527
Then what did he do?

310
00:15:20,615 --> 00:15:22,265
He didn't do anything, either.

311
00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:24,966
So, now you're dumping
a man for nothing? Hmph.

312
00:15:25,054 --> 00:15:27,494
You got control-top panties
and nobody to control 'em for.

313
00:15:28,797 --> 00:15:31,147
It's his living situation.

314
00:15:31,234 --> 00:15:33,594
What, he's living with his
mama? 'Cause I can get rid of her.

315
00:15:34,498 --> 00:15:36,238
No, it's not that,

316
00:15:36,326 --> 00:15:38,886
but it is a problem that I
don't think I can deal with.

317
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:41,031
Oh, look, baby,

318
00:15:41,114 --> 00:15:42,924
you can't just ignore someone
and not tell them what the problem is.

319
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,202
It's not fair.

320
00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:46,681
The least you can
do is talk to him.

321
00:15:46,771 --> 00:15:48,901
You're right, ma. I
do owe Roland that.

322
00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:49,911
That's right.

323
00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:51,432
You owe me a grandbaby,

324
00:15:51,515 --> 00:15:53,235
but we'll start back
on that tomorrow. Here.

325
00:15:58,435 --> 00:16:00,255
Hey, Roland. Heading home?

326
00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:02,350
Uh, yeah. I was just
starting to walk that way.

327
00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:03,479
Oh, I'll walk with you.

328
00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:05,231
Ok.

329
00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:06,442
Oh, look. Here we are.

330
00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:10,357
Ok. So you know.

331
00:16:10,447 --> 00:16:12,277
Look, I'm living in my car,

332
00:16:12,362 --> 00:16:14,972
but in my defense, it
is a Mercedes s500.

333
00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:20,019
All right. 6 months ago, I
lost everything day trading.

334
00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:22,419
Yeah, my... my
savings, my condo.

335
00:16:22,503 --> 00:16:24,333
Luckily, I owned a car outright.

336
00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:25,938
But you have a good job.

337
00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:27,158
Couldn't you sell this car

338
00:16:27,247 --> 00:16:29,157
and use the money for a place?

339
00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:32,209
This car is what people expect
a successful man to drive,

340
00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:33,555
and with the money that I save,

341
00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:35,344
I'm able to buy
tailor-made suits

342
00:16:35,429 --> 00:16:37,779
and treat myself to
massages every week.

343
00:16:37,866 --> 00:16:41,216
Did you ever think that maybe
your priorities are a little twisted?

344
00:16:41,304 --> 00:16:43,834
Look, this is just until
I get back on my feet.

345
00:16:43,915 --> 00:16:46,305
Come on. Why are we so
hung up on living in a structure?

346
00:16:46,396 --> 00:16:48,176
Do you know that
our African ancestors

347
00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:49,618
lived in huts
smaller than my car?

348
00:16:49,704 --> 00:16:51,754
And that was
without heated seats.

349
00:16:51,836 --> 00:16:55,356
I'll say it again.
You live in your car.

350
00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:57,319
Listen, Mona. I like you,

351
00:16:57,407 --> 00:16:59,767
and I was trying to find a way
to tell you about my situation

352
00:16:59,844 --> 00:17:02,594
because I didn't want you to
think I was taking advantage of you.

353
00:17:02,673 --> 00:17:03,813
Or your indoor plumbing.

354
00:17:05,372 --> 00:17:08,592
Well, I guess I can
understand that.

355
00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:10,639
Then why don't you get
in so we can talk about it?

356
00:17:10,725 --> 00:17:12,415
[Sighs] Ok.

357
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,559
Phyllis, I knew you'd show up

358
00:17:21,649 --> 00:17:23,569
to meddle in your daughter's
life sometime today.

359
00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:26,612
Any news?

360
00:17:26,697 --> 00:17:28,177
Everything's ok.

361
00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:29,744
Thank god!

362
00:17:29,831 --> 00:17:31,051
And thank you.

363
00:17:32,616 --> 00:17:35,356
Well, guess you're free
to remodel your rack.

364
00:17:35,445 --> 00:17:36,835
[Both laugh]

365
00:17:36,925 --> 00:17:38,875
I've decided against it.

366
00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:40,540
My girls might not be perfect,

367
00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:43,544
but I have never been happier
to have them on my team.

368
00:17:43,627 --> 00:17:45,627
[Sighs]

369
00:17:46,848 --> 00:17:49,808
I would, however, be happy
to refer you to my surgeon.

370
00:17:52,419 --> 00:17:53,939
Excuse me?

371
00:17:54,029 --> 00:17:56,119
It's never too late to
get your ducks in a row,

372
00:17:56,205 --> 00:17:58,075
no matter how far
south they've flown.

373
00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:01,950
You wish you had these ducks.

374
00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:04,387
They'd go with those
giant webbed feet.

375
00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:12,004
Well, this certainly
is... different.

376
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:12,961
How's your wine?

377
00:18:13,048 --> 00:18:14,748
It's helping.

378
00:18:14,832 --> 00:18:17,402
Car life does have its perks.

379
00:18:17,487 --> 00:18:21,057
In the morning, your front
yard can be the pacific.

380
00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:22,803
And at night, you
can fall asleep

381
00:18:22,884 --> 00:18:24,634
under the majestic
peaks of yosemite.

382
00:18:24,712 --> 00:18:25,632
[Giggles]

383
00:18:25,713 --> 00:18:26,803
But best of all...

384
00:18:26,888 --> 00:18:29,058
[Sun roof opens]

385
00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:30,281
Built-in planetarium.

386
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:31,940
[Both laugh]

387
00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:34,679
- Oh.
- Oh.

388
00:18:34,765 --> 00:18:36,895
Mmm. It's beautiful, huh?

389
00:18:36,985 --> 00:18:38,025
Yeah.

390
00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:47,433
Care to adjourn to the bedroom?

391
00:18:47,517 --> 00:18:48,777
[Presses button]

392
00:18:48,866 --> 00:18:50,686
Uh-oh. Watch out.

393
00:18:50,781 --> 00:18:52,741
Roland, we're right
out on the street.

394
00:18:52,827 --> 00:18:54,567
Oh, the windows are tinted.

395
00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:57,085
I'm sorry, Roland, but
I just... i can't do this.

396
00:18:57,179 --> 00:18:59,049
But, Mona... no, this
is just too crazy for me.

397
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,708
So good-bye... Roland.

398
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:03,492
Wait. Wait. Wait.

399
00:19:03,577 --> 00:19:04,747
If you change your mind,

400
00:19:04,839 --> 00:19:05,619
you know where to find me.

401
00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:06,579
[Chuckles]

402
00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:07,927
Except on wednesdays

403
00:19:08,016 --> 00:19:09,366
because it's
street cleaning day,

404
00:19:09,452 --> 00:19:11,152
and I have to relocate
to union square.

405
00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:19,419
Do you think I was wrong?

406
00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:20,936
Are you kidding?

407
00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:22,859
The man served you
wine out of the armrest.

408
00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:26,947
That was kinda surreal.

409
00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:28,905
Roland was so in
love with himself

410
00:19:28,993 --> 00:19:30,523
that he choose his bourgie image

411
00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:32,524
over a basic necessity of life.

412
00:19:33,607 --> 00:19:34,777
Thanks, sis.

413
00:19:34,869 --> 00:19:36,239
Sometimes I forget
what a sensitive,

414
00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:37,572
caring person you can be,

415
00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:39,094
that you take the
time to listen...

416
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,958
Shut up. Check it out.

417
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:46,194
That non-peeping peeping
Tom is out walking his dog.

418
00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:49,192
Looks like the
dog's walking him.

419
00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:53,275
Now you know why he was
ignoring all your little window dances.

420
00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:55,056
I think your peeping
Tom is blind.

421
00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:59,019
- Nuh-uh.
- Uh-huh. See?

422
00:19:59,110 --> 00:20:01,150
I don't think the white
cane is a fashion accessory.

423
00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:06,859
So, all those little peep shows
I put out were for nothing?

424
00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:08,824
Well, I wouldn't
exactly say for nothing.

425
00:20:08,903 --> 00:20:10,383
Check out the sign
on the fifth floor.

426
00:20:11,471 --> 00:20:14,341
"Hey, sexy. How
about a flashdance?"

427
00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:17,090
Sicko!

428
00:20:25,441 --> 00:20:26,921
[Theme music playing]

429
00:20:26,971 --> 00:20:31,521
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0